Twas the night before Christmas and all through the system
The hospitals’ wishes…too many to list ‘em.
For transitioning to value-based care,
means looking for things that aren’t really there:
Care management workflows for clinical staff,
Or more diagnoses to inflate the RAF;
A technology-savvy post-acute partner,
Or engagement solutions on the right side of Gartner,
Benchmarking tools that won’t make Docs bitter,
And positive comments on Facebook and Twitter.

The C-Suite they tossed and they turned through the night;
To whom would they turn now to help in their plight?
Not EHR Vendors, who won’t share the data
Not Silicon Valley, those apps are in beta
Not CMS, ONC, or CMMI –
Noble experiments too costly to try.
The payers, they lowballed
Consultants they yammered;
While costs of care snowballed
and politics clamored.

To Santa they turned now, miracle-wishing,
For excellent outcomes and safety from phishing;
For productive and satisfied staff at their stations,
And great customer service at all their locations.
But most of all, if in the chimney he entered,
“Please Santa, help us make care patient-centered.
We’ve been good!” they beseeched the old man with the belly –
“Well – worst comes to worst we’ve been better than Shkreli.”